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Was expecting Boltzmann and entropy to be involved at some point :(

Yeah, I was motivated to go Wiki diving, where I just learned about the Shannon (unit). https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shannon_(unit)

Time to replace "I'm zero surprised" with "That's a zero Shannon event"

I'm Mega-Shannoned! Mega-Shannoned, I tell you, to learn that gambling is going on here.