Just send a new message, exactly as you would post an original item/comment/etc, but have some special text/field in there that says "please ignore the previous message". The UI would then hide the previous message.
eg
COMMENT: {id:9374758, from:"mibbitier", data:"I hate you all!"}
COMMENT: {id:9374759, from:"mibbitier", data:"*IGNORE_MESSAGE_IN_UI* 9374758"}
Nothing whatsoever to do with infrastructure. Nothing to do with caches. Purely to do with the UI. Not rocket science.Granted, it's a poor way to do it, but it's better than nothing, and easier than trying to invalidate caches etc