I cannot read this because the writing is soooo bad. If this is your job application, I will not consider hiring you.
Re: "My average day is spent behind a laptop reading Hacker News, Lifehacker, The Next Web, Smashing Magazine and whatever I happen to discover online."
how about you stop doing that for a while and crank your own side project. then you'll have smth to show, learn new stuff and connect with people.
desperation will probably not land you a job, but creating opportunities for yourself and showing how you can be useful to others may.
Good luck!