A comment yesterday [1] led me to Chocolatey NuGet [2], a package manager for Windows built on PowerShell. The gallery [3] has almost everything I need to set up a dev environment.
[1] https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=4763895
[1] https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=4763895
Now I think about it these just seems like such an obvious idea that I'm surprised nobody ever did it.