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I laughed at “back when there were only 1’s and they had to forge about half of them into 0’s manually.” Stealing that one.

Weren't holes 1's? Were there machines where it was backwards?

This is the time before punchcard holes.

Those holes were forged from Auðumbla, the primeval cow, licking salt off a stone.

Before then there was only Ginnungagap, the primordial void (yes, it predates C89).

But it does not predate COBOL ;)