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Comment by DenisM | Hacker News Reader

He seems to have more problems with his relatives than the education system. However if this sort of treatment is culturally prevalent I can see this easily holding back the whole country - humans are fragile and fine instruments and perform at peak only when maintaned with utmost care.

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Fortunately, such treatment is less and less prevalent in China, especially in more developed areas (the student is from a poorer province, where a top-tier college education often means a rare ticket to the prosperity for the whole family.)

Most of the anecdotes I have heard like this seem to come from societies where scores are very important to getting into college, and where a college education can make a vast difference in the material well-being of the family. India is another place that sounds like this.

miniature versions of this happen in american high schools (especially magnet high schoos), where the children of recent immigrants will have to deal with a parent being angry if they do not get A/A+'s in their coursework.

Was Bronx Science like this? It seems to me that the tech track magnets would be a little more enlightened, but I could be wrong.

its not a matter of the school culture, just the silliness of some parents.

Again it usually happens when parents are not well educated. They only realize the importance of education, but they're not educated enough to evaluate their children's progress, so they often have to rely on the not always reliable association of good grades with good progress.

Both my parents have post-graduate degrees and have told me one thing repeatedly:

Shamiq, we know how important it is to learn, but the only way anyone is going to look beyond your skin color is if your scores are so superior, if your skills are so superior, if everything is so much better than the number 2 that they'd be shooting themselves in the foot if they don't hire you.

But the main focus has always been grades and scores.

If you don't mind my asking, where do you live?

Currently in Evanston, IL. Before that in Texas.

Do you feel that people in IL or TX are still that racist? Or are you old enough that when your parents were saying that it was a long time ago? I haven't lived in either part of the country but I'd be surprised if it's really still like that.

Both my parents and I are immigrants, and where they came from they were the minority. As such, they personally encountered and had to deal with both racism and xenophobia. It's more subtle in their professional fields, but not nonexistent.

Parts of Texas are still horrible, but Northwestern is amazing when it comes with dealing with diversity.

I have carried with me the work ethic springing from their statements, but tend to ignore the ill will that inspired it. It's useful to learn how to work hard.

My dad has a PhD and he pretty much pressured me as others have described.

I'd say it's not about education as much as about wisdom.

My dad's a Chem E. PH.D and has masters in CS and material science. He used to push me pretty hard about school...until his health deteriorated and he realized there are more important things in life.

Still, I appreciate the fact that he pushed me because now I'm a good student. Haha. Not to mention, I've found something I absolutely love (CS).

I'll add my voice to the chorus. My dad's an MIT Ph.D. When I took the SATs in 7th grade (scoring at roughly the 90th percentile of graduating highschool seniors, i.e. my scores at age 12 were higher than 90% of 18 year olds), his first words were "Well, it's not perfect." He was very disappointed when I became a total slacker in high school. (Which was basically my sole act of adolescent rebellion.)

Thank goodness my mom has relatively sane, middle-class American values.

This is not true at all. I know plenty of parents who are well educated and place a lot of importance on grade. For example, my parents are both first generation doctors from India, and they place a lot of importance on grade and I don't think they are wrong for doing so.

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