Ridiculously good analysis! HN is a national treasure because of posts like this.
> Once you need retries, backoff, timeouts, cancellation, versioning, visibility, task routing, rate limits, leases, heartbeats, stuck-worker detection, replay/debugging semantics, workflow migration, fanout/fanin, long timers, audit trails, and operator tooling, the “just use a database” story becomes “build a poor copy of a workflow engine plus a bunch of workers.” pretty quick.