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>if the tree were in a closed system with no solar input

... that would be the least of the tree's problems.

This line of reasoning has always cracked me up. The internal dialog acidentally out loud at the least flattering moment. I believe the correct response to be:

The tree is a perpetual motion machine hooked up directly to the wheelworks of nature! It PUMPS 500 liters per day usibg Wind, solar, capilar action and evaporation! How do i charge my car with this?

Well, if you chop it down and burn it to boil water, then Use it to spin up a turbine…

It’s like the pop sci fact that if you took all your blood vessels and laid them end to end… you would die.

This is still one of my all time favorites, although alveoli work the same way and are more fun to say.

The other day my friend said they wanted a new nervous system and my brain went down this route of pulling out the old one and putting in the new one.

I once coin the philosophical construct: the wireless p**s. The idea is to send the body to work while you stay at home and have fun.

Is the new nervous system really you?

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