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Tie every helicopter you can find to the roof, gas the bent bit off, haul it away and drop it somewhere?

They'll likely shore it up with hydraulic props - probably going through the floor and ceiling to floor slabs above and below - to stabilise it, and then start demolishing the building bit by bit.

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When you run the mental model of picking up a building with a bunch of surplus Hueys, do they not all collide together once they start bearing weight?

Not if you make the strings different lengths.

In that case the helicopters lower in the pecking order will chop off the strings for the higher ones. I thing seagulls is a better idea, if it worked for a giant peach it should work for a building. Plenty of those around and they'll work for peanuts.

Balloons should do it.

“spreader bar”

But not one made out of the same stuff as those beams, they're like chocolate.

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