Then I don't want to hear sob stories about how someone nuked half of the public repo, or how someone managed to put a backdoor in some low-level dependency that half of the world's servers rely on. I also don't want them to expect to be taken seriously, either.

It's not the 00s anymore. You are not special if you can post code that compiles to a central repository where people can duplicate and modify it. There are entire colleges in most developed nations that have 18-year-olds who can do the same thing now. The key to being taken seriously is figuring out how to do that sustainably and responsibly.