So I was probably too vague in my original description. This is supposed to be a server-to-server application. Similar to how New Relic's integration monitors your server and reports home to their servers. So something like this:

  +--------------+    +--------------+                          +--------------+
  |              |    |              |                          |              |
  |   Database   +----+  Client App  +--------+           +-----+  Job Queue   +---+
  |              |    |              |        |           |     |              |   |
  +--------------+    +--------------+        |           |     +--------------+   |
                                              |           |                        |
  +--------------+    +--------------+        |           |                        |
  |              |    |              |        |    +--------------+         +-------+------+
  |              |    |              |        |    |              |        |              |
  |   Database   +----+  Client App  +--------+----+   Web App    |        |Worker Daemons|
  |              |    |              |        |    |              |        |              |
  |              |    |              |        |    +--------------+        +-------+------+
  +--------------+    +--------------+        |                                    |
                                              |           |                        |
                                              |           |                        |
  +--------------+    +--------------+        |           |     +--------------+   |
  |              |    |              |        |           |     |              |   |
  |  Database    +----+  Client App  +--------+           +-----+--Database    +---+
  |              |    |              |                          |              |
  +--------------+    +--------------+                          +--------------+
  

The "adapter" will sit on "Client App" and interface with their database, reporting back to "Web App". I need something that is compact and relatively portable, so that it can be installed on client servers with minimal hassle. It will be provided limited access to various attributes of the client's database.

Edit: Damnit. How'd you get your ascii formatting to stick? Edit2:Got it!

Try this: http://www.asciiflow.com/#3338844714040119796