Maybe this is a cognitive or neurodivergence issue. Most intelligent people can filter without any conscious work.

I might act different if I am at a house party versus playing with my newborn, but I consider those both to be me, just in different situations.

Similarly, if I'm playing chess, I don't following the rules as contrary to my identity. I see myself as a flexible and adaptive problem solver.

I think you are on to something though and can imagine a person having a different self-identity that is less adaptive.