Computer Science Tests are Like It's 1984

This just sounds like a lot of whining to me.

On every CSE test I took when I was in college they graded the code writing portions based on algorithm implementation. No one ran your code through a compiler and docked pointed for each error. If you wrote array.length() instead of array.length you wouldn't lose points as long as your loop did what it was supposed to do.

Also, on every job interview I have ever gone to I have had to write code on paper with the interviewer breathing down my neck.

Programming transcends programming languages.

The purpose of examinations are to measure your understanding of programming concepts, not how you would translate those concepts into the programming language of the week.

You don't even need a computer to program, just an imagination and ability to apply those concepts to the problem you are trying to solve to yield a solution.

To share your solution, all you need is a writing instrument and surface, just like you encounter in your examinations.