Therapy, which (at least for me) has focused dually on adhd management strategies that can be very helpful (including, in particular, enhancing relevant social skills related to setting expectations and boundaries) and on identifying and modifying negative self-image issues and counterproductive learned behaviors (e.g. various forms of self-directed hostility that attempt to assert control over a neurophysiological issue).

It’s funny, I went to therapy a lot of times before I found someone I could stick with, and if I were to give my past self a list of what I’ve gotten from therapy, I think I would’ve been unimpressed. Nevertheless, I’ve noticed that I’m more confident and calmer, and it has definitely improved my relationships.

There’s a kind of virtuous cycle that happens where you replace a grumpy mindset where you’re always mad at yourself for not meeting other peoples’ expectations and always mad at other people for making your life hard, with a confident mindset where you understand yourself, are therefore comfortable relating to other people about your abilities and needs, and can focus on putting yourself in situations where you’ll be successful.