Tyranny of Optionality

I want "stuff" that I can't buy, like being able to work with others on problems I find personally interesting and important, or being recognized as someone capable of working on challenges problem because of the effort I've put into being able to do so, or contributing to the world in a way that only I can, etc. These aren't things I can just do, like reading a book or watching a movie. In fact, things like reading a book, listening to a record, or watching a movie are things I don't get much out of and don't bring me much joy.

The stuff I DO get a lot out of comes directly from my career. So when it feels like I could/should be getting more out of my career, that's a pretty tough emotion to deal with, and when I hear people claim that doing things like watching a movie or reading a book is the key to happiness, all I hear is someone who simply doesn't understand the dynamic of someone who actually enjoys what they do for work.

Regardless, it's fine to have a different perspective on this, but just know that it's not necessarily about money or even prestige, in itself. I have to spend at least 40 hours a week working, and I'd prefer to spend that time doing what I want to do with people I'd want to do that stuff with. That's accomplished through a more successful career. That satisfaction can't be substituted with leisurely entertainment.

So I suppose my point is that this post really DOES resonate with me lol but it's also interesting that it's not universal.

You can literally just "choose" to be happy, assuming there are no big mental health barriers in the way.

Or rather, you can choose behaviors and perspectives that influence your emotional state, even when you can't directly command the emotion itself.

No, it's not easy. Controlling your emotions can be very difficult, but that is actually how it works if you think hard enough about it.

Isn't it exhausting to always think about stuff?

Every person's biggest problem is their biggest problem and it eats up their life in the biggest way possible.

Maslow's hierarchy is not a "smaller and smaller" problems list, it is a definition of what your biggest problem is & the solutions just scarcer as you climb up the ladder.

It's close to 20 years since I wrote about the same "problem" [1] in my life and the intervening years have brought much more grief, toil and resilience. Death of several loved ones causes you to consider what a virtue sounds like an eulogy and what yours will sound like in the end.

As an aside, I've felt like literature & art was backwards in the way it was introduced to me - where the first came "man vs nature", then man vs fellow man & then a "man vs self" battle. After fighting self and others, most of us will succumb to nature instead.

So, whenever someone vents or complains, just remember that this is not a contest or at least rage bait, but to be seen as a genuine struggle within yourself that you have put to words.

There's an episode of "Person of Interest" where the AI singularity struggles to play chess as each move cuts the possible moves and the first move is paralyzingly hard for it. Some people are like that, but regret is a form of hope without feathers. It comes from a strong belief that if you could wind the clock back and start over, it would be all different.

I nearly fell into the trap of Nihilism there ("Consider the Total Perspective Vortex")

[1] - https://notmysock.org/blog/me/a-buffet-intellectual