iOS has negligible piracy? That's news to me.
There have been cases where a product receives critical acclaim, is widely pirated and failed commercially.
XBOX 360 had the ability to pirate games since 2007-ish, and PS3 was much harder in this department. You didn't see abandonment of the X360 platform from the developers.
You can simply resign an IPA as your own. There's a bunch of websites offering their signing certificates a service specifically for pirates.
Also what a poorly written article - using data from 2011. Android has grown at least 2x since then, and it has somewhere between 30-40 billion downloads by now.