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I recommend an iPod classic with a 512GB SD card :D

You mean CF card? I upgraded my iPod classic by pulling out the old 1GB hard drive and replacing it with a 64GB CF card. The pinout is the same, and it works flawlessly.

I felt like a real hacker when I did it!

I mean SD! there’s an adapter (a couple but the SD is most compact) you can even 2x or 4x them, but the iPod stock firmware has limits so there’s no reason to now)

You are also correct but I think I recall 512GB CF being way more expensive than SD which I paid $32 for Sony 2 years ago. Different iPod models had different adapters too. I think the mini was a CF card or similar

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