> the superfans make me not want to explore it

Erdős was basically a bum, called children "epsilons". Gödel was a paranoid of getting poisoned and eventually starved to death. Perelman refused to accept $1M for proving Poincaré, and still lives with his mother. Nash was a schizophrenic. Newton believed in biblical numerology. Cantor repeatedly had mental breakdowns.

That's enough reasons for not even attempting to learn math. Stay ignorant. Don't explore anything. Lisp specifically.