I have been a software developer for 30 years, and I am always wanting to automate and ‘smartify’ everything in my house.
It is true that I want to self host everything, too, and use open source as much as I can, but I am not avoiding technology.
I got into computers because I love technology, and want to play with as much of it as I can.
Once upon a time someone wanted to automate a printer. Why? It kept jamming paper. That's how the free software movement was born.
As far as "smart devices" go, we haven't really escaped that hell. This coffee machine is an example of it. Thankfully, open source firmware and DIY have an incredible amount of worldwide momentum, but we are still far away from devices and software serving their user first. DIY is a niche by definition, everybody around you aka normies still have to suffer from technology. Even when don't recognize it: https://danluu.com/bug-blind/