I'm generally introverted but somehow prefer phone calls over the alternatives. I don't want to play the "lets discuss where to have lunch over the next two days, waiting for the person to reply / remember to reply" game many people using IM seems to like to play.
Instead, we do a two minute call, hear each other's voice, say everything that needs to be said, save the rest for when we meet. Done and done, then move on with the rest of life.
I don't see it as intrusive at all, even though again I'm introverted, instead I see it as something personal and efficient. Yes, it forces both of us to take time to talk to the other person, I don't necessarily see this as something negative, either way.
I don’t mind if it’s something urgent or you need an answer now. Or just want to do small talk (very close friends). But if it could be a message, just send one.
Of course your opinion is valid, but I feel like you're only talking about calls with people that are close friends, which is a tiny minority of calls I get.
In any case, the people I chat with tend to respond in minutes, not days, so I don't have any anxiety about the conversation going on for a long time when we were trying to arrange something simple.
Not my fault you enable and allow this interruption. When I don't want to receive calls, I put my phone on total silence and ignore what's happening around me, until I feel I can be interrupted. Of course, there are situations where this isn't possible, but then I feel a text message is as disturbing as a phone call.
> but I feel like you're only talking about calls with people that are close friends, which is a tiny minority of calls I get.
I think maybe we use "silence mode" differently on our phones. When I'm sitting and programming I turn off all notifications and generally "close myself in" in some way, so interruption isn't possible, instead of asking others to not disturb me I make it not possible in the first place. I still receive calls from others who aren't close friends, but I don't notice those until I'm ready to be a part of the AFK world again, and if it's important they'll call again.
The point of my post was that I don't.
My only addition to that point was that before I adopted a policy of not taking calls during certain times, I found the interruption annoying, especially since folks didn't have any context on my situation when they were calling. I solved this by first using "do not disturb" features, and then just stopped taking incoming calls entirely (wife and kids excepted). To my surprise, and why I thought it was worth writing about here, is that this worked better than I expected.
I love calls. The trick is you don't have to take it.
I think that's a great compromise.
The actual reason for this is because a phone call out of the blue is interpreted as an emergency in progress, so the "preclear" is just letting people know it's not.
You’re not wrong on phone calls. But you gain so more. A friend calls in tears - can you really feel that on WhatsApp?
I will note that we use WhatsApp for group calls.
I do actually miss having a desk phone and having the policy that calls are always urgent and emails are not. A bit of respect between people forms then.
There are a lot of things in life that feel negative but have a host of benefits.
Today's capitalist/productivity focused grindset mindset has people removing "friction" wherever they possibly can.
A phone call, like exercise, has benefits. Doing the "most frictionless" thing often harms us in the long run. Hearing someone's voice is very important, not only for you to understand what they're saying but for you to learn how to interpret how they say it. Social skills are a muscle that need to be worked. Shooting a text atrophies those skills.
Think of how often people refuse to make phone calls simply because they've convinced themselves that phone calls are bad. It perpetuates itself.
Fixating on efficiency and hustling is a great way to get left behind, not only socially, but in experience and exploration.
I know way too many folks who fixate on efficiency and getting stuff done that they aren't living a real life.
Again, you cited removing friction as your reasoning.
Ya think maybe the problem perpetuates itself? You feel inconvenienced by an interruption so you avoid that interruption, thereby never learning to deal with it. Meanwhile, there are benefits you are willfully giving up, such as being able to be interrupted without getting upset or annoyed or the happiness of hearing someone's voice or the random stuff that comes up on phone calls.
Ya ever have a random tangent conversation with someone on the phone cuz someone heard something in the others voice? Or a phrase came up that sparked a different topic? Those moments are AWESOME and they only happen outside our comfort zones.
Easy isn't better.