Did somebody steal these magazines or are they just being overly dramatic?
https://theonion.com/cash-room-bitch-be-havin-my-shortie-181...
Sleepless hours and dreamless nights and far aways / Ooo ooo ooo, wishing you were here…
https://theonion.com/it-wuz-always-bout-tha-numbahs-18195843...
I believe The Onion moved (back) to Chicago from NYC in 2012 around the time that print editions were also discontinued.