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I get the first and last point, but how does DOS help?

You can use a modern operating system just fine.

I ascertain that they were using hyperbole as a form of humor.

DOS ensures nobody will be have an easy time reversing the decision to keep them off the network.

I'm fairly sure it's trivial to get Claude to vibecode you some little program that runs in DOS and allows you to connect the computer to the network.

Sure, it was called Novell. There was also AppleShare PC, which connected you to a Mac network. It was how I laser printed my dissertation. ;-)

And that was presumably before Claude made it easy. :)

Assume the computer does not have a modem of any sort!

If you assume away the hardware, then even Linux can't talk to the network.

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