> Aside from the fact that this is obviously not true (secure boot is possible on Linux, limine/lanzaboote come to mind)
Secure boot is not attestation. It does not provide userspace any guarantee the system booted a secure boot chain.
Secure boot can be bypassed by dodgy firmware (cough cough msi) or the kernel can lie to userspace about the secure boot state.
The moment the UEFI firmware jumps to the bootloader, secure boot is no longer useful.
> Look, if Canonical had one of their keys leaked, I can go and sign my kernel and kernel modules and secure boot just fine as if my kernel is one distributed by Canonical. There are no checks on whether the contents of the kernel are correct
This is literally where the TPM comes into play because your kernels signature would get written to the PCR register and fail an attestation check.
> This is about control over the ecosystem, an ecosystem Epic has spent their years spitting in the face of.
This is just FUD