You put your family’s needs on the same footing as your own. And you put those two needs far above people outside your family.
That’s exactly my point.
People sometimes act in the good of everyone, usually when the cost isn’t high. But otherwise they act in benefit of themselves or their group, often at the expense of the out group.
You don’t need capitalism for that to happen.
Agreed. I understand what you are saying. You don't need capitalism for absurdly selfish behavior. However, I don't know that a capitalist system, in its current, relatively unregulated form, is making humans less selfish.
The form of capitalism now gnawing away at US society is essentially shouting "the virtue of selfishness" from the rooftops. People respond to leadership, including moral leadership. There are better forms of capitalism that involve regulation and fairer taxation, such as we have had in the past, but no longer have now.
For a lot of people criticizing capitalism, the goal is not socialism but rather better capitalism.