Appreciating the beauty of all your body's scars and scratches
1000awesomethings.com
1000awesomethings.com
I'm not a very careful guy, so my hands are all torn up, burns on my arms / legs, old gashes... Each one's got a story but at some point they start to get hard to remember. I've still got two eyeballs, both ears, and all my digits though.
Maybe it's that Hunter S. Thompson quote; “Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming 'Wow! What a Ride!'"
As I’ve aged the scarring stays longer and is darker so I’m starting to look like a population distribution map of some kind.
Wouldn’t change it for the world, great sport, great adventures.
Good luck in training, I've always wanted to get into BJJ but don't have the time right now.
Sometimes the universe makes a mark on you; what you do with that is up to you.
I got a little bold with dear Earth recently and she smacked me pretty hard. I knew what I was doing, knew the risks, and did it anyway. It’s maturing into a decently large scar, and I’m pleased. It’s a nice memory, that kiss.
Maybe I’m weird. Regret minimization, which most people seem to follow as a life strategy, is too boring for me. I always thought I’d die young but after luckily surviving some really stupid decisions in my youth, I’ve gotten much better at measuring risk.
the funny part is contemplating that every single day we’re alive, no matter what we do, we are increasing our “survivorship bias”. Might as well play with the odds a tiny bit, roll the dice and have some fun, BUT safely on the margins of course :) Learning those margins is the biggest survivorship hurdle.
Breaking an arm, scars, etc- They are unpleasant at the time, but zero long term regret. They are like squares on a quilt that tell a story.
When you don’t remember how you got a bruise, it’s a bit odd, but it happens.
When you injure yourself and it hurts a lot and the bruise is barely even noticeable, that’s the worst. You earned a nice colourful bruise!
Kintsugi and wabi sabi are probably the most convenient terms to capture this.
I find nothing more satisfying of clothing that I've personally patched up and repaired the sea on. I have memories tied up in that. The same goes for the scar on my wrist from falling off that longboard in college when I was trying to learn (that was the end of that).
Would I go as far as "appreciating their beauty"? More like accepting that they are there, let them remind us of what happened, and how we prevent something like that from happening again.
For some young folks it may be an opportunity to pause and think about how sometimes people do not recover from their injuries. Most of us eventually become disabled, and we still need to continue living our lives as best as we can with what we have, which is why public transit, walkability and accessibility are important to preserve.
But her response surprised me: "No, that's my C-section scar. THIS is my appendectomy scar." I told her that her scars made her more beautiful because each one is a story; having them makes her a survivor and that's pretty hot. I think she appreciated that.
> I find that much anxiety can be alleviated by finding beauty in transience, imperfection, and scars. If we feel judged for our scars, we become afraid to get scarred. We follow the path that results in the least amount of pain, rather than the path that leads to the most amount of learning.
from "Scars are beautiful" (2015) https://stephango.com/scars
Twelve years later I can say that thinking about scars/pain this way has made me far more optimistic, less anxious, less fearful.
Humans 'appreciated' 'beauty' for centuries. Obviously, we've evolved the ability to do so and the word 'beauty' carries meaning for people and is an effective way to describe their sensory experience and interpretation.
Attemtping to negate the experience of beauty and appreciation through a poorly-formulated behaviouralist remark is akin to a teenager saying that they can't touch a table because touching is just repelling and we never actually touch anything because it's just repellent forces. In both cases, the new formulation is completely irrelevant and doesn't remove the actual meaning from the word.
I'm guessing that the motivation of your phrasing is rooted in a psychological trick that you're using because you're miserable with the fact that other people are experiencing joy through beauty and you've either not the time or not the inclination to do so. A sad perspective indeed.
I had the same two years ago.