Hmmm, I’d have to see it. It’s basically the car saying “ooh you’re an MP3 player, play some music!”, and the phone is like, “oh, okay, you’re relaying your owner’s request so I’ll take your word for it”.
Sure, but on android, there's just a setting that effectively says "Play on start up"
Not sure if there's something for the apple equivalent.
Not that I recall and I’m feeling too lazy to look at the moment. It’s really the car’s fault, though. It’s sending the “start playing MP3s” command, which the device is obeying.