>However, I’m super aggressive about social media and feeds I don’t control. Any app that shows me a feed I can’t turn off, sort, or filter—I take that as psychological warfare against me.

Is it just me or are people getting too stuck in a Manichean mindset about this kind of thing? This reads like an alcoholic complaining about a work happy hour or something. Just, don't use the social media stuff.

>For the longest time, my LinkedIn bio was “I HATE LINKEDIN.”

OP kind of just seems insufferable. Touch grass.