Thou shall use the Rust rewrite of PHP.
So as much as people on this forum love to shit on it, PHP is already very fast and memory efficient.
The gains from the ongoing rust rewrite are (in order):
1. The author's ego-stroking
2. Claude's agentic capabilities show-case
3. Memory safety (to be confirmed)
"Strange; seems like all I hear about these days are projects funded by the world's largest advertising corporation."