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Comment by swingandamiss | Hacker News Reader

There's too many men in this world, a surplus. Some percent of men will be the winners (not a large percent) and the rest will be losers who never reproduce and have unhappy lives doing hard work with little reward.

In the past we had large wars, harsh labor, that killed off men, but not today. There's roughly 5% males born than females. India and China have aborted 10s of millions of female babies. In the Western world, massive numbers of men (from low to high skilled) have move there. So here we are, men everywhere, roaming around grocery stores trying to talk to women, 70 to 80% of the population on dating apps are males, bars are filled with men. It's not a good time to be a low status man.

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Historical solution: war

Latest figures say there are about 101.03 males per 100 females. For some reason this means most men will be losers?

Yes, thank you. I don't know why we're always so dishonest about this topic (especially the most vocal younger crowd).

Men and women are far too picky compared to the past. That's why they die alone. It's that simple.

There's nothing wrong with this if it means you're happier than being stuck in a relationship you don't want, but you can't have it both ways.

Most people reading this know exactly who they'd be with if they just said yes to their options. Not liking your options is vastly different from having no options at all. Your options can change if you make the change within as well. The fact that this is such a modern and loud problem also points to the lack of competition you'd face compared to the past. We've overcomplicated this beyond belief. That's not nature's doing.

> Most people reading this know exactly who they'd be with if they just said yes to their options.

What does this mean? Just lower your standards and there's a woman out there for you?

It's been a long time since I was single, but I never felt like that. I worked at a job with a bunch of other men and didn't have a lot of social outlets that involved women. My candidate pool was close to zero. I eventually recognized this and found ways to broaden my pool, but it wasn't easy.

I'm not prescribing anything. I'm describing the situation.

I'm only speculating that I think the past used to be (a lot) worse. Competition was higher across the board for significantly worse options across the board.

So much of the modern era is defined by the desire for social change, but nobody seems to pause and think what that must mean regarding the perception of their options (and themselves). It means even your worst option today probably isn't that bad or is already more similar to you than you want to believe. I think this all boils down to mortality. Other people change slower than you have time for, so on some level you do have to either compromise or make your own changes at the pace you prefer. You can't spend life looking at the rear view mirror and a horizon that never comes.

A casual look on social media tends to confirm that the same people not liking their options also think they were "born in the wrong era" or similar.

I don't know anyone who likes me sexually or romantically. Are you telling me that's not normal?

You'd be surprised. How are you so sure of that? You're the judge, not me.

You are counting the over 50s/60s. Men die off faster and it was more equal in the older generations. That's not what we are talking about here. We are talking about men who are attempting to start their lives and a family and/or date. In that pool, there's A LOT more men than women in the western world. Particularly the USA.

UN's global average sex ratio at birth of approximately 105 boys for every 100 girls

The vast majority of heterosexual men who are unsuccessful romantically has nothing to do with their "status." A bit of self-confidence and the ability to listen to and empathize with women is literally all it takes. Women don't want to date chuds, shocker.

Also, dating apps are pointless. Go volunteer for a community organization or join a pickleball league. Don't force it.

How are men supposed to develop that self confidence?

Exercise, self-improvement (reading, hobbies), socializing. Go do things with people. It requires effort, and can be intimidating.

Go take some social dance lessons like swing or salsa.

lol, how can you be this delusional

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