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Comment by chasd00 | Hacker News Reader

My boys are 16 and 14, we tried to limit screen time when they were younger but weren’t militant about it. Both are doing fine, good students, and humans. They have had phones since 6th grade and social media but their day-to-day use is more in group iMessage chats and meeting up with friends to play games.

Militant anti-technology parenting guarantees nothing.

Edit: as for tracking I only use findmy to time dinner from time to time (my oldest is driving)

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It's probably just not so black and white. Every kid is different and I think you just have to observe how they handle different mediums. If I had a kid that really struggles with peer pressure, why would I put them in a situation where it's likely to be heavily amplified (i.e. social media)? But maybe other kids handle it just fine.

FWIW, I let my boys spend a good chunk of hours on video games because I would be a hypocrite otherwise. But there comes a point when their behavior takes a turn for the worse (I mean after so much video game time) that I end up taking it away for awhile. All things in moderation and such.

    > They have had phones since 6th grade and social media but their day-to-day use is more in group iMessage chats and meeting up with friends to play games.

I am curious about the outcome if you had daughters.

I have 13 and 15 year old girls. They are doing great. They have had a phone since they started riding a bus to school. No social media restrictions. They aren’t helpless mindless TikTok zombies. They have plenty of interests which aren’t online.

My youngest plays three instruments well. All picked by her and she schedules her own practice times and stays on top of it without us having to even remind her. The 15 year old has a 4.1 gpa as a sophomore. She talks to her teachers and arranges her own retakes and extra credit. She volunteers to teach middle schoolers to play orchestra instruments. Again, all at her own direction.

I love these parenting humblebrag posts. This part is peak cringe: "arranges her own retakes and extra credit". What would you do if your daughters were much less obedient, had 2.5 GPAs, and spent 6+ hours per day on social media? Most parents do not understand what it is like to have a low intrinsic motivation child when all of your children are innately high intrinsic motivated. I see this pattern repeat over and over again across so many cultures. In short: Your kid won the genetic lottery. Congrats. Please don't think this is normal.

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