> "that's called being an asshole"

There's a difference between "being an asshole" and "sometimes acting like an asshole". We all do the second thing sometimes.

A snarky comment and a bad apology may be an instance of the second thing. But they don't imply the first.

Compare another toxic noun, "racist". There's a difference between "being a racist" and "making a racist comment". If people could apologize for the latter when it happens, understanding that it does not imply the former, the world would be a better place.