What kids should do when they see a classmate being bullied
slate.com
slate.com
One thing adults should do is own up, both to bullying and especially to being bullied. The former bullies aren't likely to own up anyway, but the stigma of being bullied is real, even if you don't fall into some protected category.
I wasn't gay, did not chose to live a "goth" lifestyle or anything else (not that there is the least bit wrong about any of those things). I played sports and music competitively, did everything a normal kid is supposed to do. I wanted to be a normal kid. I was a normal kid, and a fairly popular one despite my age before I moved. The first month at my new school, I ran for class president. Needless to say, I did not lack for confidence, at least at that time.
I even got a few votes, and apparently that wasn't to the liking of a certain segment of the population. They proceeded to make my life hell for 2 years, and being new and having no friends did not help. The few who reached out early, backed away as it became clear that I was not wanted at the school. The ringleaders began a campaign of physical bullying, and (worst of all) obscene phone calls to my home. Not only was I afraid to go to school, I ran home to intercept the calls so my parents didn't have to feel sorry for me and here the crap that was being said: "f- your mother, you f--" blah blah. Juvenile, and really quite pathetic.
On Sadie Hawkins day, after (a real) girl asked me out .. someone found out and I got literally over 30 phone calls .. ceaselessly, for hours on end pretending to be that girl to mock me .. to this day I cannot understand the purpose of it. Needless to say, I did not go .. and never went to a dance or party throughout junior and high school.
The most painful thing for me, was not only was I so ruthlessly targeted, the Columbine incident happened to occur during those years. All of of a sudden, not only was I the weird kid from out of town that no one was supposed to like, classmates made jokes that I was the most likely to go on a killing rampage.
As it turned out, the Columbine murderers were not bullied so much as they were psychopathic. Yet the public perception still exists that one of the reasons to stop bullying is to stop more Columbines. It's sad, really.
It took 7 years for me and college to become normal again, be part of a real group of friends and regain the confidence I had as a child. Botton line .. plenty of normal adults were bullied and they should stand up so the bullied kids of today know that a good future lies ahead, and the bullies of today know that their dominance will be only temporary. The best revenge, after all, is living well.
Kids: Don't trust any one adult or organization. I like the photo in the article because the girl is substantial documentation, which is much harder to refute or ignore.
You can tell the school administration. And your parents, I should add. If the school doesn't do anything, go to the police. If you can afford to, hire a lawyer.
That physical evidence makes it harder for the police to ignore. They may well try, but, for example, battery is battery... and with enough legal attention, they will get in trouble for ignoring it.
People change when the status quo becomes painful enough for them. All too often, they actively oppose change before things reach this point. Or, they pay lip service, while doing nothing of consequence.
This is a difficult lesson to learn, amidst all the idealistic messaging that gets pushed at kids. Lo, for better and for worse, this is the way the world really works.
Bravo to you, for taking it on rather acquiescing. Hopefully this makes your community better not just for the other person, but for you, as well. And, it sets a pattern for doing, rather than allowing things to be done to you. A good habit to have, in life.