Open letter to Yahoo's Marisa Mayer

To save others the trouble of figuring it out, it's parody.

As a person in an office where gotomeeting is the norm, none of the executives ever come into the office and on a daily basis projects are given to programmers or graphic designers that are ill-concieved, needed immediately, without copy or specifications other than a 3-4 hour conference call on what they think they want.

In-person communication is valuable. I feel like we're missing something here. Sometimes telepresence is impersonal and disrespectful. The CIO continually butchers a few people's names. You'd think that after 3 months of talking to these people on a daily basis he'd pick up on his incorrect pronunciations.

exactly the kind of guy we've been looking for! But alas, you're a dedicated Yahoo, so i hope you don't mind if we borrow this portion of your post for our Network Operations Director job description,

"From my motorized chair/exoskeleton I can maintain every server on the grid. Displays on hovering glass panels indicate data flow, cloud assets, employee location and emotional state. (Green = joy. Blue = despair.) Having tied all system function to eye movement, I can work up to fourteen days completely motionless...."