Comment by bpatrianakos | Hacker News Reader

Comment by bpatrianakos | Hacker News Reader

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I can't say you haven't beaten depression because I just don't know you but for me believing that I've beaten it is dangerous. It's the same kind of logic behind why addicts say they're recovering and not recovered. The disease is still there and can show itself at any time but for now it's in "remission" I suppose you could say.

A lot of people feel like admitting they can't beat depression is a sign of weakness and that if you "beat" it or become "cured" of it that that's somehow a badge of honor. I don't feel that way. I think admitting you can't truly beat this and knowing your limits is the smartest and bravest thing a person can do. I know that if something were to happen and I fell into my old depression again I'd certainly feel even worse after having thought I'd beaten it. Even if I were to say I beat it today while I'm feeling good, that would be a lie. I haven't beaten it. It's still there. I feel it. It wants to consume me all the time but I don't allow it to right now. It hangs on to me every single day, even on days like today when I'm feeling good. The only difference between depressed me and "cured" me is how I deal with it. I'm sure this would be impossible to understand for someone who's never experience depression but even though I struggle with depression every day of my life, I'm not depressed. And that has everything to do with how I've learned to deal with it - I just kind of work around it and don't feed it.

Like I said, I can't and I'm not saying you haven't beaten it. I just can't understand how anyone can really beat it at least not with my understanding of the word "beat" I suppose.

"but for me believing that I've beaten it is dangerous". Is it really that dangerous? Does 'beating' it mean you forget how to cope?

I don't know your situation, but I would strongly advise contemplating the truth that lies behind self-fulfilling prophecies. As Confucius put it “He who who says he can and he who says he can’t are both usually right”. I'm not trying to condense the issue into a soundbite, but rather illustrate that being open to the possibility that you can beat it might mean you can actually beat it.

I truly wish you well.

I second this comment.

Short answer: yes.

Long answer, think of it like an addict. They always called themselves 'recovering' because they know it only takes a single slip to set you back. Same with Depression. You can be fine for years, become lax in your coping mechanisms and handlers and something small happens that sets off a chain reaction where you are reaching for things you wouldn't normally reach for.

One innocent comments or look or phrase that slips past your carefully built safeguards is all it can take sometimes.

Thank you for your feedback adeaver.

I do understand the addict analogy, but in both cases I'd say the solution was the same... perhaps the issue is ongoing because the root cause of the problem is still there?

The triggers that set people off into addiction/depression are what separate those that are susceptible to those behaviours to those that are resilient to them. What are those triggers? What links them? What actions can be taken to reduce or remove their potency (taking the time to remember you always have choices to delay a reaction may help here)? These might be questions to explore with assistance from others.

Of course it's fantastic to have greater control over the symptoms of addiction or depression, and I in no way wish to diminish that achievement, I've worked on breaking a few (admittedly mild) addictions before and so do have a little understanding of the processes that addicts go through. So I hope you appreciate that I see 'recovering' as a great achievement.

Perhaps the 'beat' word sounds too absolute, too final... I personally would not say 'beating depression' means you have reached a perfect state of happiness, but rather that the triggers that held your recovery back no longer hold you back, so you are free to get better. Perfect is the enemy of the good, be happy that you are doing good. :-)

Yes. I had high cholesterol. I made lifestyle changes. I have low cholesterol now. Did I beat it? Sort of. But I can very easily get high cholesterol again, if I let my guard down.

Contrast that to, say, chicken pox, which I beat. And t almost certainly will not recur, even with no effort in my part-- even of I tried, I probably couldn't get chicken pox again.

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