The real reason why developers are awkward
trogger.com
trogger.com
Programming hasn't made me awkward. Instead, I've taught myself how to deal with situations, making me much less awkward. (to the point of being pretty normal and hardly awkward at all)
And as the reverse of the article, I find hours of social interaction (mostly with people other than friends) extremely exhausting. Unlike the author, I don't warm up, I just feel drained and want some time to myself to regenerate.
"It has even learned, by means of brain scans, that introverts process information differently from other people (I am not making this up)."
Just as the rest of the article, this part certainly rings true for me. The fact that I don't think in terms of words seems to baffle people. I always thought this might be because I was raised bilingually, so my thought process might be happening on some kind of superset of the two languages. Maybe, however, it's this that the author alludes to and has no connection with language? It'd have been nice if he had covered more of this angle.
What is more weird is that I'm more or less social depending on the language I've to use, being much more social talking in English than in Spanish or Catalan. I think it may be due to the fact that the English classes I took where very participative and I was usually forced to talk. I really don't know.
(And for the article, right now after 5 days of vacation, back at work, and after 6 hours coding I'm really looking forward to go out and socialize a little bit more (I'm pretty happy I have a very good environment at work), but sunday after spending all day with people I was eager to sit in front of my computer and code for hours.).
However, its also during these times ( not in front of computer ) that I often think of the most brilliant re-factoring, algorithms and ideas for my code. So strange as it sounds, socializing helps me to code.
I think this is the same for any individual whose job requires that you live in your head for a long time. I'm fairly certain artists who are deeply involved in their work experience this "surfacing", as I've come to call it.
Too bad it doesn't work the other way too...or maybe it does?
I often find myself being a lot more brutal in my communications if I'm in the middle of, or emerging from, a coding session, than the rest of the time.
I think the reason is more than just b/c my mind is immersed with the problem. Even when we work in the same team and discuss the same technical problem I still find it difficult to engage in the conversation. As a bilingual speaker it's always awkward for me to switch between English and my native language, especially if I spend a long duration using one exclusively.
My guess is developers won't feel awkward if we can socialize in machine language. That also saves tons of time spending on switching in and out of the awkward mode.
I think that's the start of the divide. When you do eventually pop your head up from your laptop, your friends have all developed superior social skills than you, so you're instantly out of place and on the back foot in highly social situations such as parties and nights out.
I recognise that I lack certain social skills required to flourish in big crowds and groups, but I think its just a matter of forcing myself to attend events, be more open with people and it'll improve. If you do something all the time, providing you're a good learner - it should get easier.
The Myers-Briggs test for example gives me an INXJ profile (with a very strong "I" score). About a decade ago, I figured out that "becoming" more of an extrovert could really balance my life out, and now it is something I can swoitch on and off as well to the point where (a) I am equally comfortable in either mode and (b) people who have seen my "extrovert" side can't believe I am perfectly happy sitting alone in a corner and coding for a few days or weeks if that is what the situation warrants, or alternatively party for a 12 hours staright. I don't know if this is relevant, but I am extremely comfortable with public speaking and quite enjoy theatre(performance) and music(performance).
I wonder if this whole "personality" thing isn't very fluid (and thus hackable). Just one anecdotal data point against the "development makes you awkward" idea.
Programming just suits me.
Part of the article's theme is that the awkwardness comes and goes. When the author is not programming he doesn't feel awkward at all.
It's also important to realize the range of human variation. There are programmers who can code at top speed while carrying on a continuous patter. They're not common, but they exist. There are programmers who do all their work with an IRC session chugging along in an adjacent window. I can't seem to cope with that, myself -- I can't focus when messages are scrolling by in my peripheral vision. I also can't focus when there's music playing, but other people can't code without music.
On the other hand I'm comfortable in social situations so long as I have some time for that mental intensity to dissipate. I just need a buffer to switch modes.
I try not to spend that much time actually coding stuff and probably spend more time working stuff out on paper and talking to people before using a computer.
Moreover, I often feel dissatisfied of myself while I don't have some tangible results at work. Then I feel shy and can't enjoy the moment. People see that (and especially girls I think!).
Being awkward helps me deal with (unwanted) attention and loads of bullshit that most people try to unload on me for some reasons.
Of course this is very different from shooting the breeze over a drink or lunch.
It's a genetic fact that all personalities are different. Some people are more naturally social than others. That may lead them to careers other than programming. However, this shouldn't excuse the developer from being socially awkward. Humans are naturally social creatures and learning to be social should not be something that is ignored. I think people who are more social are more happy and lead more fulfilling lives. Why you may enjoy sitting behind a screen for 12 hours a day, I think you'd be a lot happy spending 8 hours behind the screen and the other 4 interacting with people.
Wow, that's a bigoted extrovert perspective. Really, I'm just fine being alone with myself and my thoughts. Sure, company is nice from time to time but no amount of training will change the fact that introverts find other people draining.
I took a class on public speaking once, and the instructor mentioned that I was the most personable speaker she'd ever known. I still need plenty of alone time to recharge after dealing with people for any extended length of time.
Don't underestimate the calmness, power, and meditative qualities of introversion and self-acceptance.
Programming 2.0 is happening as open source development. Just because I presented my point in a casual way does not mean my comment is meaningless and negative to the community.