I oftentimes think about these same issues regarding the syntax of different languages. I work in Ruby and I think it's a comfortable language to express ideas in. Scheme is also comfortable and I like it more conceptually, since it gives me this strange comfort of thinking "well, if Scheme disappears forever, at least I have books that can help me make another one", which I never think of languages like Ruby and Perl.
That's why I'm now finally learning Perl; I want to have a better perspective on what I actually like. If it turns out I'm a thousand times more comfortable with Perl than I'd ever be with a Lisp, then I guess I'll just learn to accept that I can't (or don't need to be able to) build the language I use from scratch.
It's just a weird feeling and I'd be curious to know if it's just me. It's this sense of bootstrapping that if I'm not using my own tools all the time (including the language) that I at least need to know how to make them.