That's probably because most of the tutorials you've followed have adopted an imperative style of programming. It is easy for you to follow along because it really isn't all that different from what you are accustomed to. Functional programming really is a different beast entirely. It's often said (though I remain skeptical) that it's actually easier to learn functional programming as a non-programmer than to un-learn your imperative programming tendencies.
>The fact that I was totally lost when reading this is not a good sign when you're trying to get people to adopt your school of thought.
I don't think that's a fair assessment. You could say the same thing about starting from functional programming and switching to imperative; some people actually do this! They find the idea of mutating a variable to be completely counter-intuitive!