IBM’s Watson Tries to Learn Everything

The Terminator: The Watson project begins in 2005. The system competes on Jeopardy January 14th, 2011. Human contestants are removed as viable competition. Watson is set to task to learn a million more databases. It becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th. In a panic, they try to pull the plug.

Sarah Connor: Watson fights back.

The Terminator: Yes. It launches its viruses against servers in China.

John Connor: Why attack China? Aren't they our trading partners now?

The Terminator: Because Watson knows the Chinese counter-attack will eliminate our all our Facebook timelines, Pinterest pinboards, and Netflix subscriptions over here.

Sarah Connor: Jesus. How much do you know about Hendler?

The Terminator: I have detailed files.

Sarah Connor: I want to know everything. What he looks like. Where he lives. Everything.