Agreed, but there are numerous alternatives that compile easily to assembly without ridiculous amounts of set up and prayer. We can program in C, C++, Python, Ruby, Java, any number other languages that will ultimately all be executed in the exact same fashion, barring some technical differences.

This does not exist for Javascript. You can jump through hoops to compile other code to Javascript and hope that it works and works acceptably, that's it.

Javascript isn't assembly, it's the only language and it's terrible.