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Comment by henningb | Hacker News Reader

I would argue criticism is communicated differently across generations, not being less accepted.

There is a difference between a) "I don't like $x about your idea." b) "I like $y about your idea. I think you could make it even better if you do $x differently. For example like this: ..."

In my experience, older generations tend to do a) more, while younger ones do (and expect) b) more. Not a bad development IMO.

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Except that there's not always anything to like about an idea, and sometimes things are just plain wrong. More often it's less clear cut than that, but even then, points need to be made and people need to understand when they are creating problems.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for tact! I'm also all for explicitly stating your opinion as an opinion, which often has the effect of softening things in the way you suggest, but even that should not get in the way of actual, valid, useful criticism that isn't excessively hostile.

We baby kids (and ourselves) far too much. Everyone gets an award, everyone is a winner, no one is necessarily wrong. It's crap, absolute crap, and this kind of universal communicative pacifism is a symptom. It harms our expression by limiting it.

I would also add that it mirrors the situation of when you try to speak to someone who is new to your language. The normal/bad strategy is to talk slower and louder, which can elevate the communication, from normal, to a personal attack, when they just responded in a way that you, the speaker, did not expect.

You'll probably enjoy the PLEASE statement in INTERCAL: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/INTERCAL

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