""" the basics: for 10 days, i joined roughly 50 other people in onalaska, wa (a little town in the middle south of olympia) and we learned anapanna and vipassana meditations (as intepreted by s. n. goenka). we weren't allowed to talk to one another. in the evenings, we could ask questions of the teacher, but at the end of it all i probably said about 30 sentences
here's the schedule that we followed scrupulously every day:
4am - wake up bell 4:30 - 6:30 - meditate in the hall or the sleep quarters 6:30 - 8 - breakfast and rest 8 - 9 - meditate in the hall (strong determination starting on day 4 (more on this below)) 9 - 11 - meditate in the hall or the sleep quarters 11 - 1pm - lunch and rest 1 - 2:30 - meditate in the hall or the sleep quarters 2:30 - 3:30 - mediate in the hall (strong determination starting on day 4) 3:30 - 5 - meditate in the hall or the sleep quarters 5 - 6 - tea/fruit break 6 - 7 - meditate in the hall (strong determination starting on day 4) 7 - 8:15 - video discourse 8:15 - 9 - meditate in the hall 9 - 9:30 - ask teacher questions if desired 10 - lights out
in general we were instructed to sit however was comfortable and change position as sparingly as possible. "strong determination" sits beginning on day 4 meant that we were to not move the entire hour. of course, as the pain got really bad, we were free to do so. i'll get back to the madness of this later.
day 1 we were instructed to focus on our breath. we were to keep only our breath in our minds. no counting, no visualization, no mantras. not deep breath or shallow breath. just breathe naturally and observe. as the mind wanders away, we we were told, notice it without anger or frustrating and resume observation of the breath. my mind wandered away after observing my breath for about 10 seconds max. it got a little better throughout my stay there, but not much.
day 2 we were given the same instructions as day 1, but were told to also start paying attention to the area of skin right below the nostrils. we were to note wherever the breath brushed past that area and focus on the smallest point of skin that we could.
day 3 we were told to look for sensations on the same moustache-zone. at this point, i began to feel an odd tingling sensation very lightly and ocassionally.
day 4 we were instructed in vipassana meditation. it basically consists of observing every part on the surface of the body, in a fixed order, piece by piece. we were told to observe any sensations as we go through the body and not react with craving or aversion. just observe the sensation and pass to the next part of the body.
day 5 - 10 was the continuation of this with additional elaborations on the nature of passing attention through the body. these were also the days when the weird shit started happening. i think sometime during day 5 i discovered that my entire body actually experiences a low-grade tingling 24/7, but i just never had the awareness to feel it. the ability to discern it comes and goes, but, just today during my evening meditation, i felt it on nearly every part of my body. (addendum from a month later: the tingling is gone, but still does show up from time to time during particularly good sits.) it's neither pleasant nor unpleasant and has its own internal logic. every person there felt it, as i discovered after i spoke to them on day 10.
during one of the strong determination sits, at about minute 45, the pain in my back became really bad. my mind started screaming for me to move, but i had built up enough experience at this point to have a little delay in response. i started examining the pain, really understanding it. i noticed that the pain itself, the sensation, was not so bad. what was horrible, was the nagging child inside me, the one that felt entitled to feel good all the time. the child pulled on my entire body, trying to force it to move. i ignored it and ignored it and really analyzed the pain. and... it all went away in a single instant. just dropped from my body. i don't know what happened, but i suspect i somehow managed to undo all sorts of knots of tension. i felt perfectly at ease and sat out the rest of the hour plus another 10 minutes. afterwards, i felt a tremendous elation. """