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Comment by CJefferson | Hacker News Reader

What I find interesting about this (and yes, I am sure I am biased, and showing male privilege), is that this still seems based around the assumption that it is a man's job to chase, and "obey the rules", to get what they want (the woman). Nowhere is it suggested that you should let women make the first move.

Sure, they are trying to adjust the rules, but not adjust the game itself (which I feel is where much of the unhealthyness around male/female interactions comes from)

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I don't think there's anything in the article that suggests that a woman can't talk to a man. I took it as "If you are going to talk to a woman, here's a few things to keep in mind." This isn't necessarily about how to "get what [men] want" but more about being a decent person, by getting a better understanding of how our [male] behaviour can affect those around us, in ways that we don't normally have to consider.

That's not the point of the article. The point is to give men a guide on a woman's perspective when he approaches her. Yes, the entire game should be changed, but that is beside the point.

It is a valid assumption that men are the initiators because in most cases this is how the world works. If you want to change it, feel free.

> If you want to change it, feel free.

Men can’t change that, only women can.

As a male, I can refrain from taking the first step, and in theory, I will have created a revolution. In practice it just means girls will think I’m not interested in them.

I also have zero hope that the great feminists of our time will change it. They’re campaigning for more power and perks for women, not less. Right now, men buy dinners, gifts, and have to beg for sex even after they’ve been married. Why give that up?

> In practice it just means girls will think I’m not interested in them.

My point exactly. Railing against the system as it exists is counterproductive unless you have a viable alternative.

My point is that instead of writing sob stories directed at men, about how women feel threatened by men who approach them, the author could’ve written about real empowerment, like about how it’s A-OK for a girl to ask a guy out. After all, this was written on an all girl feminist blog, where the male audience is likely minuscule.

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