I think you should spend some time to talk about the pain you are fixing. There's no hook. What problem am I having now that you are going to make go away?
Also the teams features make it easy to collaborate and see who change what and when.
Give point by point details about how what I am doing right now sucks. It make me hate my job, keeps me up at night, turns away customers, and loses me money.
Then, after you have convinced me that my current process sucks (and epiphanized with me that it was the best I could do at the time), go back though every point and tell me how you have fixed them.