Ask HN: what on earth have I just done...
Today, I finally got a message response from him this evening. Yet the intention of the message was asking me to forget him, so that it makes it easier for him to take his way out.. I lost my mind the moment he said that, panicking, thinking about all the possible ways I can just so he doesn't hurt himself. At the end, I had absolutely no other way, I called 911. And the police did end up finding to his apartment, only to tell me that he said he doesn't know me, and he's doing OK.
Of course, he did not wish anyone in real life to find out about his suicidal thoughts, especially not the police. He got mad at me, so mad that he said if I ever try to contact him again, he will file a harassment report against me.
Even after all these madness, I still can't make sure his safety, and broke our friendship. I feel so hopeless right now, my whole world is blank, I have no idea what I can to do ask for his forgiveness, I still lost him at the end, one way or another.