> When did it become something we have to love and wrap up so much of our self-image into?

When we started spending 50, 60 hours a week at work. Even at 40 hours a week, it's exhausting to try to find any real time to devote to hobbies and "extracurricular" learning outside of work. If you feel like you're stagnating, feeling like you're wasting those 40 hours of life every week, why stay, just because "work is a financial transaction" ?