Overall I thought the video looked good. The problem is not necessarily with your story I believe though. The problem is that the market you are entering is dominated by major players with established markets, distribution, and customer base. You will really need to show how your product is better than those. The "anti-odor" avenue may be the best angle on that from what I gathered in your video.
As for your direct-to-consumer distribution method, that will be a tough play in this market I think. My suggestion is to go out to some of the high schools, athletic leagues, smaller colleges in your area and talk to the athletic departments. Try to get at least one or two on board with using your product. Get feedback from them and build on that. It may be a loss for your as you may have to give out some shirts to get there, but in the long run you will gain valuable insight into the product. If they like it and it is better or more cost effective for their players the word-of-mouth will get you enormous return.
You are going to need to hustle the product yourself to these groups. Look at the story of Kevin Plank and how he built Under Armour into the brand it is today. Great hustle (it also did help to have some pre-established pro-athlete connections and the fact he played football at a division 1 college).
Overall, I think the quality of the video is good. Maybe just focus more on what is different and why it is better than existing brands/products.