There's actually a method that works quite well in dealing with these "jerks." Ironically, it's the same tactic that men need to effectively communicate well with women.

Here's the secret: acknowledge them. Acknowledgement doesn't mean you smile and nod nor does it involve using the sentence structure ..., but... Try to understand their perspective and communicate through that perspective. Instead of asking others to see your perspective, it's much easier to do the reverse. Most arguments and personal qualification of someone being a jerk has to do with communicating from 2 different perspectives with neither side willing to take some time to understand the other perspective.

Most devs are fairly logical creatures. Understanding their perspective shouldn't be hard. However, it does take a bit of practice. If you can't understand where they are coming from, just ask more questions.