Hacker News Reader

Comment by NovemberWest | Hacker News Reader

I am a lot like you temperamentally and currently homeless, though the two things are not really directly related. I have thought a lot about it over the years. For me, part of it is that I was one of the smart kids in high school and got a lot of not subtle messages about how I owed the world benefit for my gifts and would be evil incarnate to try to, gasp, get rewarded for them. For me, I think gender also plays a role. I am female and a lot of my strengths have a social element which is routinely treated by other people like I owe them some free motherly love, I should be a total fucking martyr about it, and, to add insult to injury, making people feel good is not some sort of intelligent, valuable skill set or knowledge. It is treated like I am just cute and lovable like a tribble.

I have my own ideas on how to solve these issues for me. I sm not giving you advice here. Just saying it resonates, fwiw.

View on HN

It's worth a lot, and while I am not female, and can't fully empathize, I would like to say that I at least sympathize and that I see and try to speak against what you are describing. Women in particular seem to be taught not to profit. In fact, I think on the other side of the equation it is part of what has been awkward for me. Many of my closest male friends see profit as part of their self-identity and it wasn't until your post here that it clicked for me that it may be related to gender identity.

So, like I said, worth a lot. And making people feel good, caring for people, it's the most valuable skill so far as I'm concerned. Glad there are other people who value it.

My situation is complicated. I am not making much money but I am "saving" millions kind of by not being sick. Long story. So can't really be too terribly unhappy about it. At some point, the dough will role in but I will know I am doing stuff I am okay with...etc...

((hugs)) & take care.

I would recommend not being so open and candid, emotionally and concerning life events, on the internet. This is doubly true when your handle is linked to your photo, location, and real name.

I wouldn't hire you for freelance work due to your seemingly incredibly unstable situation.

Thank you for your concern. As is typical, off the cuff advice about something you know almost nothing about isn't going to be useful to me. Your remarks smack of jumping to conclusions, probably very erroneous conclusions. Arguing about the particulars is not likely to do either of us any good but I am also not comfortable letting your characterization of me stand. Suffice it to say, your opinion has been noted and I plan to continue to be emotionally open as well as open about my life. My financial mess is getting cleaned up. I am clear I am on the right track.

I hope you have a great day. The world would be a better place if more communication came from a place of concern for another person's welfare. I hope you do not stop caring about other people. Although the road to hell is often paved with good intentions, I believe it is usually due to good intentions combined with poor execution. I think execution is easier to fix than a cold heart.

Take care.

Reply on news.ycombinator.com