I suppose tarsnap is named like 'portsnap', which you also wrote, but what is the thought process behind calling that 'portsnap'? That might help stimulate some ideas and suggestions.
I am assuming it's not a piece of tar snapped in half. Although sometimes, having the FreeBSD ports system compile perl and python from scratch when I am trying to install emacs does make me want to snap it in half (yes, yes, I know I am not the model FreeBSD user, et cetera :))