Well, but it was a friend who was attacked; not her. We probably would not think it was inconsistent for a man whose female friend was attacked at a conference to remark that he felt comfortable in the tech community. But the writer is not allowed to think that way, which is some of what I think she is complaining about.

> ... the author doesn't mind being demeaned by men---when they dismiss her ideas because she's a woman, she just laughs it off ....

Or perhaps she was feeling superior, not laughing it off. Here was this guy putting down her proposal on the basis of gender, and then she comes back with an implementation. So it could have been an I-showed-him kind of thing.